Hold many to ransom.

In 2020, even the idea of young queer kids having to come out is absurd and as we continue to both appear to be in a more accepting society, the battle for equality persists. In the last week, the number of homophobic crimes reported has almost trebled in five years. Whether that’s because of more confidence in the police, or not, it is a stark reminder that there is far to go.

Part of the problem is the notion that being queer is not normal. The world continues to operate in binaries for the convenience of governments, rather than the fluidity of life. We continue to encourage normality over individual freedom, in a dangerous attempt at conformity.

Each and every day continues to be a battle, and one all minorities face. But I’m proud of the small victories each and everyone of us achieves every day.

At work, we are updating our organisation’s constitution. The governing document establishes how the Kingston local party works and contains endless references to he and him, or his and hers. To many, not through ignorance but through unawareness, this would not be something to look at.

But as an organisation, we need to celebrate and champion the individual. If we do not live our values through every document from the very foundation, then we have failed. This small change to use ‘they’ and ‘their’ will probably go unnoticed to most who read it, but to those who identify as something other than the binary it’s vital that they see themselves in our governing documents.

Every year when National Coming Out Day rolls around, I think about the letter I wrote to my parents when I left for university. So scared of their reaction that I ran away to the sanctuary of a new life. Of course, I was lucky in that my parents have been nothing but supportive.

Not everyone gets that luxury.

To this day, the expectations of our parents, and our community, hold many to ransom. It becomes unspoken, and upsetting unacknowledged. Many live dual lives, myself included, to protect those who brought us into this world and nurtured us from the reality of our queerness.

It’s why queer people often talk about the chosen family – the people in your new life you surround yourself with for the love and support you have deserved from the very moment you became you.

Society is changing, the world is moving forward, the boundaries of yesteryear are slowly falling. So happy National Coming Out Day, whether you have or have yet to do so.

You are the ground-breakers, the society-changers, the future, and by your very act of coming out, you’ll make being in the closet a long distance relic of a past time.